It’s a Catch 22

A little while back, I posted about wanting to spend more time on the blog. I committed to taking time at night to open my computer and chip away at my goals. Welp, I am here to report… I have NOT done it AT ALL. Life got away from me. I get home from work and the last thing I want to do is open my computer. But then I sit at work and I am like, this is the last place I want to be. I want to be blogging. It truly is a Catch 22.Work From Home Its A Catch 22

I know not to compare myself to others but is SO hard. I find old blog friends on Instagram with thousands of followers or click through on Pinterest to a blog I used to follow and it’s beautiful and I think about what I could of had if I just stuck to it and committed.

Honestly, it’s the same problem I have with my diet and nutrition.  I can’t commit to anything and give up after a few days. Between my blog and my diet, you’d think I would want to figure it out. Instead, I choose other things like family-time, relaxing, and socializing [which is ok!]. Maybe one day I will figure out how to have both. I am trying. I guess that’s why this blog is called Comfy & Confident. It’s about finding that place where  you ar. Enduring the journey. Accepting the Challenge. It shouldn’t be a Catch 22. I should be able to find my passion and pursue it. I just need to remind myself of that.

It won’t happen over night. It will take time and patience; two things I am not very good at. But, if it gets me to my goals, it’s worth trying right!?ONe Day Or Day One

So as I was writing this, I went on Instagram and one of my favorite people, Katrina Scott, from Tone It Up, posted a mantra about finding your path… it is so fitting. Here is what she wrote,”

“‘you can not travel the path until you’ve become the path itself’…there really is no way to move forward and into the life you want until everything that yo do, breathe, and love is on that path. You have to visualize yourself on it and become exactly what you dream. You can manifest anything as long as you put your full heart and self into that life and let go of everything else that doesn’t serve you. Remember you are capable of so much more than you could ever know!”

This is exactly what I know I need to do. I need to visualize myself on the path I want and just do it. Put blinders on and forget what anyone else might think or do. I need to let go of the what if’s holding me back and take a leap of faith. I will figure it out. My family will be ok. My path can be found.

I need to let go of the Catch 22 and just walk down my path.

Balancing Life, Work and Family

I have so many things I want to do. For some reason, I just can’t commit and spend time on any of them. Instead of picking one thing I have five and none of them are getting the attention that they truly need. Rather, I’m working a full-time job, that I really don’t like, and it’s just dragging me down. I get emails from work and I just want to ignore them because I don’t care, I get home from work and I’m so deflated that I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV. I feel lazy and unmotivated which I hate.

I don’t mean to complain. I hate to be negative. But I’m just feeling tired and discouraged and like I have no real path.

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The one thing I do know is I love my family and I want to spend as much time as I can with them. I just don’t know how to do that, have an income, and not feel like I’m just going through the motions.

Here is a thought: If I spend a half an hour on each end of the day I might be able to do some of those things I like to do while still working my desk job until I can figure out my next move. Hmmm… I think that’s gonna be my plan. I’m gonna try and get up a half an hour earlier to work out every day and then at night I’m going to try and spend a half an hour working on a passion projects whatever that may be, maybe it’s this blog maybe it’s a Podcast idea, maybe it’s becoming a health coach. But I’m gonna spend a half an hour at night, a couple times a week, trying to figure out what I truly want to do. To be fair to myself I’m going to try and do it 3-4 days a week so that I don’t put so much pressure on myself to do it every single night. I know that’s unrealistic and if I miss one night, I am the type of person who would just give up and say it’s not possible.

Balancing Life Work and Family

Hopefully this will help me feel like I’m doing more for myself and making a plan for my future doing something I truly want to be doing. It’ll make me a happier person and in return a better wife and mother which is ultimately all I want.

Here’s to giving it a try! I will let you know how it goes 🙂

 

Desk Job vs. Passion Job

I made it through my first week at my new job. Success!!

Desk Job vs. Passion Job
I have to admit, going into it, I was not very excited. I was putting it “out of sight, out of mind” and didn’t really even acknowledge I was taking on a new job. Honestly, I was not excited about just taking another job, in another office because I truly want to find a way to pursue health and fitness as my career. That is my passion. That is what I really want to be doing every day.

I listen to a million podcasts that all tell me what I should be doing…. “if you’re not doing what you love, you need to figure out what it is and do it… “work all day and then work on my dream job/passion job at night”… “if it is really my passion, I will find a way to make it my job”… “do both jobs until you get your passion job to a sustainable place.”

That is all well and good (and admirable), but do those people have a 1 year old at home, a mortgage to pay, mouths to feed? Ha! Also, in my opinion, there is something to be said about the comfort of a desk job, knowing what to expect, showing up, doing your job and then turning off and going home at night to your family/life. Clearly that reason, right there, is why I have taken this new job, why I have not dropped everything to pursue my passion. I am comfortable with a steady paycheck and the certainty of my daily schedule.

Desk Job vs. Passion Job

I also want to come home and be able to relax a little. As it is, with prepping for the next day, cleaning bottle and Tupperware, and making dinner, I barely get to sit down before 9pm anyway. Then I have to open my computer and start working on my passion job? No thank you, not right now.

Well this is not where I thought this post was going to go :). I started to write thinking I would share about my new job, the routine, the people, the actual work, but my stream of conscious clearly brought me down a different path. I will leave that other stuff for another time.

Have a great week!